Death Proof.

Death Proof is Quentin Tarantino’s latest movie. It was originally meant as one of two full length feature horror movies put together as a two film feature; Grindhouse. The second movie, “Planet Terror” by Robert Rodriguez, was for reasons unknown dropped when Grindhouse was released in Norway and only Death Proof was shown. No two film feature for you! The Death Proof movie poster even stated that we would see “coming attractions from Robert Rodriguez”, so I have to admit I felt a somewhat cheated when it turned out that was not the case.

In Death Proof we meet Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike, a very enjoyable, but mentally challenged character. Friendly at first, he turns out to be that guy you really wish you never met. Stuntman Mike, the brother of Stuntman Bob, likes to stalk young and sexy women, and there are a lot of young and sexy women in this movie. The main issue with these women is that they talk too much. They talk all the time. Continue reading "Death Proof."

I Want To Move Someplace Safe.

Compared to most other capitals, Oslo ranks as a tiny village in size. Despite of that, the city is, like most capitals, struggling with unemployment, poverty and crime. There are parts of the city you should avoid after dark. Right now there’s a guy - or perhaps even two - who is running around trying to rape everything that moves. It’s not as bad as Mexico City or Brasilia, but you get the idea.

Still, in spite of all the bad apples, the real threat is the police. At least if we are to judge by the heading of an article I read on the NRK site this morning. A screenshot of the heading can be found to the left. Translated to English it says “The police gives up on attempted murder”.

That the police is driving around in their patrol cars attempting to assassinate us is a bit disturbing, and the fact that they just gave up on attempted murder probably means that they will start doing it for real soon and that’s really disturbing.

Yeah, it’s just me trying to be funny by taking advantage of an ambiguous headline. But you grinned.

Anyhow… The R rated 300 trailer is loose on the interweb, make sure you have a look before it’s pulled. In case you wondered, the excellent sound track is Nine Inch Nails’ song “Just Like You Imagined”.

Smokin’ Aces.

Sometimes you see a movie trailer and you think to yourself “yay, what a movie, I got to see this one, I’m prepared to sell my left foot for a ticket!” The trailer to Smokin’ Aces had that effect on me: cars, guns, chicks, explosions. Even that guy from “Two Guys, a Girl and Pizza Place”. He’s funny.

But if I’d actually sold my left foot for the ticket, I would have felt pretty damned screwed when leaving the theater. Hell, I paid cash for the ticket and felt screwed even then. Because this is not a good movie.

The main problem is that it some times tries to be a serious movie, not the fast-paced, brain dead action flick it’s supposed to be. C’mon, blow up some more stuff! So save your money, watch trailer three or four times and you’ll get all the entertainment you would have gotten from seeing the entire movie.

Smokin’ Aces gets half a star for the effort and one for the trailer.

Back at the Movies.

Here are a few more movies you’ll want to watch this year.

Smokin’ Aces (Trailer)

When a Las Vegas performer-turned-snitch named Buddy Israel (Piven) decides to turn state’s evidence and testify against the mob, it seems that a whole lot of people would like to make sure he’s no longer breathing.

This movie’s plot - and trailer - is so filled with big guns, big explosions and bad catch phrases that you’d be stupid not to see it. Features a lot of familiar faces like Ben Affleck, Andy Garcia and Ray Liotta. Alicia Keys can be found in the cast, not sure if that is a good or a bad thing yet.

Grindhouse (Trailer)

Two movies in one - the first by Robert Rodriguez and the second by Quentin Tarantino. Is your hearth beating faster yet? It should. Judging by the trailer, the style of both movies is just like we’re familiar with from classics like Reservoir Dogs and From Dusk Till Dawn. Tarantino also has a role in this - just like he should when he’s directing.

Live Fee or Die Hard (Trailer)

It’s Die Hard 4! I would not rule out the possibility that this movie will turn out to be a piece of crap, but being a fan of the first three I must say that this is a must-see this year. It’s been twelve years since Bruce Willis did Die Hard: With a Vengeance, and the guy is getting old - but if Sylvester Stallone, so can Mr. Willis.

Spider-Man 3 (Trailer)

I’ll admit it without even blinking - the first two Spider-Man movies kicked movie butt. Perhaps not movies that will be remember for a long time, but as a cartoon moved to the big screen it really works. Now, number three is on it’s its way:

A strange black entity from another world bonds with Peter Parker and causes inner turmoil as he contends with new villains, temptations, and revenge.

Ooooooh….

At The Movies.

I like movies, you like movies and here are a few you should look forward to this year:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Trailer)

Maybe not because it will be a hell of a movie, but it’s the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, duuude! The script is written by the original comic book creators, so if you was glued to the screen watching these guys as a kid this is a must-see.

Transformers (Trailer)

Another winner from when I was a kid was Transformers. Who can possibly forget Optimus Prime? Now they are taking it to the silver screen, and I can’t wait to see how it will look in tonday’s high definition CG. Let’s just hope that Steven Spielberg doesn’t mess it up too much. He did produce The Flintstones, remember? Let’s never talk about it ever again.

300 (Trailer)

This movie has generated a lot of hype, but - call me an ass - I don’t quite see what all the fuzz is about. That said, the trailer made me want to see it - hype or no hype. The movie is based on Frank Miller’s graphic novel “300″. The name might ring a bell, he did the Sin City comic, which has also made it to the big screen. The Battle of Thermopylae, which 300 is loosely based on is also quite fascinating:

In the Battle of Thermopylae of 480 BC, an alliance of Greek city-states fought the invading Persian army in the pass of Thermopylae. Vastly outnumbered, the Greeks delayed the enemy in one of the most famous last stands of history. A small force led by King Leonidas of Sparta blocked the only road through which the massive army of Xerxes I could pass. The Persians succeeded in defeating the Greeks but sustained heavy losses, disproportionate to those of the Greeks. A local resident named Ephialtes betrayed the Greeks, revealing a mountain path that led behind the Greek lines. Dismissing the rest of the army, King Leonidas stayed behind with 300 Spartans, 400 Thebans, and 700 Thespian volunteers. Though they knew it meant their own deaths, they secured the retreat of the other Greek forces.

Wikipedia has the facts.

The Simpsons Movie (Trailer)

If you need to be told about this one, you can go away.

That’s it for tonight. There is a lot of excellent-looking movies scheduled for release this year. Stay tuned for more.