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One Line For You.

Posted 22:21 CET Thursday September 14th, 2006 (3 years, 361 days ago). 254 views. No comments. Tagged with One-liners.

Here’s a few new one-liners before I go to bed. That’s how much I love you.

• Money should be utilized as a tool. You just gotta know which nuts to screw.
• The only job you start at the top is digging a hole.
• Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy, but gets you nowhere.
• Frog blast the vent core!
• Failure is not an option – it’s a lifestyle.
• Most people don’t act stupid – it’s the real thing.
• In the dark I hold your hand, because in the light you look like a man.
• It’s better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you are a fool than to open it and remove any lingering doubt.
• Beauty lasts for a moment, but ugly goes on and on and on.
• If the early bird catches the worm, what about the worm?

If you spot any dupes, please let me know.

One Line.

Posted 22:49 CET Sunday November 6th, 2005 (4 years, 308 days ago). 203 views. 11 comments. Tagged with One-liners.

Last weekend just seemed to last and last. This weekend was over before I could blink, and that sucks monkey balls. I think I need a new vacation soon, the only real vacation I’ve had since 2002 was the week I spent in Rome with Hans Olav, and that wasn’t exactly the most exiting week of my life.

Today I did something I should’ve done a long time ago, I added a bunch of one-liners people have e-mailed to me. Here are the new additions:

• Goals are deceptive. The unaimed arrow never misses.
• I thought I was wrong once, but it turns out I was mistaken.
• In a world without walls and fences who needs Windows and Gates?
• Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
• I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
• If you’re not having fun, then you’re not doing it right.
• I have a strong will but a weak won’t.
• If all the cars on the Earth were lined up bumper to bumper, some idiot would try to pass them.
• To err is human, to forgive highly unlikely.
• Sex on TV can’t hurt unless you fall off.
• There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don’t.
• I’m not paranoid, they really are after me.
• Old age is nothing to worry about, except if you’re a cheese.
• It’s people that give drinking a bad name.

As always, you can find a complete listing of one-liners here and a random one hidden on the bottom of every page.