Vegard Skjefstad

It’s the 1st of July, which means there’s time to add some more funny one-liners to the ever-growing one-liners collection.

• “They didn’t want it good, they wanted it Wednesday.” — Robert A. Heinlein
• “Perfection itself is imperfection.” — Vladimir Horowitz
• “Every dogma has its day.” — Anthony Burgess
• “When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.” — Mark Twain
• “My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.” — Amy Sedaris
• “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” — David Lee Roth
• “I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?” — Leo Durocher
• The fact that a conflict has many sides does not imply that every side has merit.
• “Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” — Meister Eckhart
• “Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart.” — Zig Ziglar
• “Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” — Bruce Lee
• “Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.” — Ted Turner
• Don’t let someone who doesn’t know your value tell you how much you’re worth.
• “The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” — Amelia Earhart
• “You do not become greater by making others smaller.” — Krishna Dharma
• “I’ve sometimes thought of marrying – and then I’ve thought again.” — Noel Coward
• “In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
• “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” — Leo Buscaglia