August One-Liners

I’ve added a few new one-liners to The Collection. I’ve also removed a few duplicates, not that easy to keep track of everything now that the collection is over 1100 one-liners.

  • Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
  • “There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can’t.” - Warren Buffett
  • Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
  • “I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.” - Seasick Steve
  • Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  • I don’t find it hard to meet expenses. They’re everywhere.
  • The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
  • Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.
  • If you don’t like the news, go out and make some.
  • I can handle pain until it hurts.
  • Gravity always gets me down.
  • “According to my best recollection, I don’t remember.” - Vincent “Jimmy Blue Eyes” Alo
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
  • Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
  • Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
  • I’ve had amnesia as long as I can remember.

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