With a little help from Google Analytics I had a look at the 130,848 keywords used in searches that eventually led the interweb surfer to this page from the first of January up until today. And there are some really weird things people search for. Here are a few examples:

  • i cant see from your perspective my head isnt that far up my ass (748 times)
  • never argue with a fool (713 times)
  • if you look at what you do not have in life, you don’t have anything, if you look at what you have in life, you have everything (600 times)
  • stupid is the man given opportunity doesn’t take it quote (380 times)
  • the one´s that succeed in life are the one´s that accept their misstakes (157 times)

The most interesting thing about these examples is that most of them generated very few new visits, meaning that the same people are coming to this site searching for these things in a search engine - in most of the cases Google. Often they are generating 10+ hit a day as well. Interesting.

There are three more or less plausible explanation: a) Google Analytics is flawed. b) Some people think that Google is the internet and the search box the portal to a magical world. c) Someone is trying to communicate with me by using Google. And the things they say isn’t very nice.

Here are a few other mysterious gems hidden in the search history:

  • i’m a little surprised you didn’t remember a thing i said last time we talked. i’ll take it as you are so into me you forget everything else.
  • i didn’t do it for you i did it because it was the right thing to do
  • do you tell a lie hoping it will get better or tell the truth
  • people that dont keep there word never suceed

If there’s anything you’d like to say to me, you can use this contact form; instead of Google Analytics. As you’ll see, it’s much easier.


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