Dogma

Dogma.

Two banished angels have discovered a loophole that would allow them back into heaven; problem is, they’d destroy civilization in the process by proving God fallible. It’s up to Bethany, a lapsed Catholic who works in an abortion clinic, to save the day, with some help from two so-called prophets, the heretofore unknown 13th apostle, and a sexy, heavenly muse.

Just the sexy, heavenly muse played by Salma Hayek would normally be enough for me to scream out loud and give this movie a clean 6 on the scoreboard, but I don’t. This film did nothing for me. I think I laughed twice during the whole film and that’s not enough. Chris Rock does his best to make us laugh at the bad jokes this great comedian is stuck with and Salma Hayek tries to look as sexy as humanly possibly, but it’s not enough. Linda Fiorentino delivers well below average acting as she stumbles through the story as Bethany (be sure to be out for more popcorn when she tries to play drunk). And please, let’s not even mention Smith Mewes and his pathetic character, Jay. Alanis Morissette as God? Gimme a break…

One of the reasons I didn’t like this movie a bit, might be because of a certain individual sitting three chairs to my right at the cinema. I have never, ever in my whole life heard anyone (or anything for that matter) with such a terrible laughter and I hope I will never hear him ever again. He laughed with his whole body and soul and it sounded like an old steam engine and a jumbo jet colliding in mid air then falling 10.000 feet to crash land in an amusement park. And the more he laughed, the more I wanted to walk over to him and kick him real hard in the nuts.

That said, if Dogma had been a real good movie, I would never have noticed “Laughterman”. Dogma was not a real good movie. Stay clear of this one. There are brick walls more amusing than this film.


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