Another long entry. I should write a book.
Even though it’s over a year since me and Stine split up and about nine months since I last heard from her, she’s still a somewhat frequent subject in my ramblings. Tonight is no exception, it seems.
I don’t talk to Stine anymore, but still tend to dream about her every now and then. It’s usually months between each time she haunts me, but this week she’s visited me in dreamland twice.
In my first dream my mobile phone rings and her name appears in the display. That is a bit strange since i deleted her number back in February. What is even stranger is that she’s got a second surname now. It’s “Amundsen” or something like that, at least it was three syllables and I’m sure it started with an “A”. It’s also possible that it was an “å” in there somewhere, but I can’t think of any common surnames that starts with an “A”, has three syllables and contains an “å”.
Anyway. I answer the phone, but when I do, I get a text message, I don’t hear her voice, which would’ve been the most likely thing when someone calls you and you answer the phone. Ah, the wonders of modern dream world technology. Her text message, which is very well formatted for a text message, says that she is going on a trip with her new boyfriend and she needs to come get something at my place that they need for the trip. Exactly what, I can’t remember. I’m not sure if it was ever specified, either. She does not personally show up to pick it up, instead she sends two friends, a couple she knows. They get the thing – whatever it was – and leaves. For some reason, I go with them in their car. On the way there, I ask them about Stine’s new boyfriend. They start making faces and say that he’s basically an asshole, arrogant and not very friendly. They are just his friends because they feel they have to. When I ask about Stine, they say that she was really nice at first, but now her personality has changed and she’s a lot like him.
I can’t remember more of the dream, and I hope my dream is wrong. Being an arrogant asshole just wouldn’t suit her very well.
In my second dream someone has found an envelope containing some papers Stine has left me or sent to me. There are some pages written on a type writer or on a computer and then printed and some are hand written. I only read the hand written ones, and they are all containing comforting words and sentences. “It’s all going to be OK. Everything will work out in the end.” Stuff like that. On one the bottom of one of the sheets, she’s written “Say hello to Brian from me” and a long paragraph that she’s later crossed out so it’s impossible to see what she wrote in the first place.
The envelope also contains a bookmark of the type you put inside of books to show how much you’ve read. You remember those things from the old days? Books? On the bottom of the oversized bookmark there is a drawing of a face, but the drawing is really bad and it looks a bit like something a three-year-old could’ve done. On the bookmark there is also a list of “Nice things to think of”. I can’t remember any of the them.
When I come to think of it, I’m not sure if the envelope and the papers were meant for me after all. Maybe the envelope contained tings she’d written for herself. Either way, it was just a dream.
I’m usually rational guy and I try to find rational explanation to most things. It’s not that I refuse to accept anything that’s beyond my comprehension, I just believe that there is usually a reasonable – maybe even scientific – explanation to weird stuff. So why have my ex-girlfriend-dream-frequency increased that much this week?
I blame it on The Girlfriend. We’re doing well at the moment, and I think my subconscious is finally letting go of Stine. In this process, the memories I have of her surface before they slowly disappear. A bit like air bobbles in the water that slowly float to the surface and bursts. Maybe not the best description, but you get the picture. It’s a little strange that she never appears in person in any of the dreams, and I get a text message when I should have heard her voice. It could be that my subconscious just doesn’t remember enough about her to create a good audiovisual picture of her in my head and decides not to try. If that’s the case, I’m a bit surprised, you would think that she should’ve made a more permanent impression than that.
Me and Klas used analyse each others dreams. It was interesting, believe me, he dreamt a lot of wicked stuff, especially after long and eventful Shadowrun sessions. Feel free to have a go at these two, my man. Or anyone for that matter.
Well, anyway… Enough amateur brain science chatter for tonight. What I could really need is a dream recorder. Everything would have to be censored before any kind of public showing, of course, but a dream recorder would be a truly marvelous invention. It probably wouldn’t take long before the dream recordings started to appear as evidence in divorce petitions, though.