New one-liners for February 2018.
A new month means a couple of new one-liners added to the collection. Here are the new additions for February:
- The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
- “I find that people who believe we might be living in a computer simulation tend to be people who I could imagine being simulated most easily by a computer.” - Joi Ito
- If you cannot explain something in simple terms, you don’t understand it.
- When someone asks me if I’m seeing anyone, I automatically assume they’re talking about a psychiatrist.
- “There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.” - Mark Twain
- “The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.” - Mark Twain
- “Um.” - First horse that got ridden
- A lot of people cry when they cut onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
- I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
- My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.
- Everything is edible, some things are only edible once.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
- Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your mouth is moving.
- “An escalator cannot break, it can only become stairs.” - Mitch Hedberg
- “Race is just a pigment of the imagination.” - Glen Highland
- “I have nothing to declare except my genius.” - Oscar Wilde
- “I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.” - Bill Murray
- “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit.” - Stephen K. Amos
- “I used to be addicted to swimming but I’m very proud to say I’ve been dry for six years.” - Alfie Moore
- “How do people make new mates? Asking for a friend.” - Steve Bugeja
- “People say I’ve got no willpower but I’ve quit smoking loads of times.” - Kai Humphries
- “Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it’s all over much too soon.” - Woody Allen
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