Here are a few new one-liners for the collection.
- Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?
- “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will know peace.” - Jimi Hendrix
- He who feels that he is too small to make a difference has never been bitten by a mosquito.
- If you let go of the past, it no longer has a hold on you.
- Enthusiasm can be like a fire that needs an occasional poke with a stick.
- “He, who doesn’t hope to win has already lost.” - Simon Bolivar
- “The older I get, the smarter my Dad gets.” - Mark Twain
- If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and keep away from children.
- “When the well’s dry, we know the worth of water.” - Ben Franklin
- The road to a friends house is never long.
- The time to ensure that the toilet works is before you really need it.
- Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious.
- Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.
- Don’t judge a book by its movie.
- If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, why practice?
- If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, “Quit while you’re ahead”?
- How is it possible to have a civil war?
- If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
- I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
- No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
- A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
- Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
- Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
- Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
- Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
- The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
- Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
- Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
- I don’t have a solution but I admire the problem.
- My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
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