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February One-liners, Part II.

For various reasons, it’s been a slow year so far in terms of writing for me. To make up for it, here’s one of the easiest and probably most entertaining entries I write: More one-liners:

  • Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
  • On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  • I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
  • Gravity always gets me down.
  • It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
  • The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
  • Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
  • Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
  • “A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.” — Bill Cosby
  • “Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.” — Red Skelton
  • “I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.” — Warren Buffett
  • “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” — Robin Williams
  • “I don’t need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.” — Stephen Fry

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