New one-liners for December 2018.
It’s the last month of the year. But no need to sulk! Here are the funny one-liners (and some clever ones) for December. Remember that the entire collection always is at your fingertips.
- Alcohol: The fuel used in the engine of bad decisions.
- “It is easier to stay out than get out.” - Mark Twain
- It’s hard to escape from your inner critic, especially when it never shuts up.
- “Buy land, they’re not making it anymore.” - Mark Twain
- Dracula is a myth created by Big Garlic.
- It turns out my high school chemistry teacher was right. Alcohol IS a solution.
- There is a certain freedom in having nothing left to lose.
- Friendship should not be sought, but is usually found both by chance and good luck.
- Don’t make someone a priority, who only makes you an option.
- Sometimes we all have days where we are 386’s in a P4 world.
- It is okay to visit your past just don’t bring any luggage with you.
- A politician is the one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
- They told me I was gullible, and I believed them.
- Life is too complicated in the morning.
- “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” - Bill Watterson
- “I have such a high regard for the truth that I use it sparingly.” - Timothy Connor
- !false (It’s funny because it’s true.)
- “A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event.” - Angela Barnes
- “I wonder how many chameleons snuck on to the Ark.” - Adam Hess
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