New one-liners for January 2019.
A new year is upon us! I hope you had a great 2018, and that 2019 will be even better. In any case, here are few new funny one-liners that have been added to the collection.
- Spend some time staring at the stars. It feeds the soul and revives the mind.
- “I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.” - Mark Twain
- “The trouble ain’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.” - Mark Twain
- Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
- The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.
- Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
- Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.
- Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you’re slowly looking worse.
- How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
- I named my dog 6 miles so I can tell people that I walk 6 miles every single day.
- An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true.
- Why is the day that you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on, called a day off?
- Learn from yesterday, live for today and have hope for tomorrow.
- The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
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