New one-liners for October 2018.
It’s the first of October, which means it’s time for some more funny one-liners. If you like these, the entire collection might be of interest.
- “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” - Stephen Bishop
- “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” - Irvin S. Cobb
- “Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.” - Dilbert
- Playing with a toddler is half play and half self-defense.
- I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
- Life is what happens outside your smartphone.
- If a guy remembered your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small breasts.
- An architect’s dream is an engineer’s nightmare.
- Bad choices often turn into good stories.
- Some people dress to impress, some people undress to impress.
- Someone is going to be that guy that dies a few minutes before we discover immortality.
- My life is a constant shift between trying to fall asleep and trying to wake up.
- Whatever you do always give 100 %, unless you’re donating blood.
- “People shouldn’t be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people.” - Alan Moore
- If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
- “In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - It was the worst 20 minutes of my life.” - George Best