September is here. Summer is officially over, and we’re slowly moving toward darker times. But fear not, here are some sarcastic and funny one-liners to brighten your day. Want to see more? Then you should browse the complete collection of more than two thousand funny one-liners.

  • Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.
  • Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?
  • The problem with trouble shooting is that trouble shoots back.
  • My fear of moving stairs is escalating.
  • “Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.” – Dennis Wholey
  • “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” – George Carlin
  • “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
  • “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.” – Mark Twain
  • “We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.” – Phyllis Diller
  • “If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.” – Groucho Marx
  • “As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.” – John Glenn