January One-Liners

New one-liners for January 2020.

A new year is upon us! I hope you had a great 2019, and that 2020 will be even better. In any case, here are few new funny one-liners that have been added to the collection.

  • “Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” — Mark Twain
  • “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
  • “I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.” — Lily Tomlin
  • “When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.” — Saul Bellow
  • “Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.” — Mark Twain
  • “Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.” — Bill Vaughan
  • “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t drink.” — Ryan Reynolds
  • “For the happiest life, days should be rigorously planned, nights left open to chance.” — Mignon McLaughlin
  • “You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.” — Vernon Howard
  • “Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.” — Mark Twain
  • If it’s not going according to plan, maybe there never was a plan.
  • The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
  • A happily married man is one who understands every word which his wife didn’t say.
  • “The only time Success comes before Work is in the dictionary.” — Harvey Specter
  • “Nostalgia is a device that removes the ruts and the potholes from Memory Lane.” — Doug Larson

By Vegard Vines Skjefstad

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