It’s the 1st of July, which means there’s time to add some more funny one-liners to the ever-growing one-liners collection.

  • “They didn’t want it good, they wanted it Wednesday.” — Robert A. Heinlein
  • “Perfection itself is imperfection.” — Vladimir Horowitz
  • “Every dogma has its day.” — Anthony Burgess
  • “When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.” — Mark Twain
  • “My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.” — Amy Sedaris
  • “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” — David Lee Roth
  • “I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?” — Leo Durocher
  • The fact that a conflict has many sides does not imply that every side has merit.
  • “Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” — Meister Eckhart
  • “Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart.” — Zig Ziglar
  • “Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” — Bruce Lee
  • “Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.” — Ted Turner
  • Don’t let someone who doesn’t know your value tell you how much you’re worth.
  • “The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” — Amelia Earhart
  • “You do not become greater by making others smaller.” — Krishna Dharma
  • “I’ve sometimes thought of marrying – and then I’ve thought again.” — Noel Coward
  • “In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
  • “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” — Leo Buscaglia