July One-Liners

New one-liners for June 2019.

It’s the 1st of July, which means there’s time to add some more funny one-liners to the ever-growing one-liners collection.

  • “They didn’t want it good, they wanted it Wednesday.” - Robert A. Heinlein
  • “Perfection itself is imperfection.” - Vladimir Horowitz
  • “Every dogma has its day.” - Anthony Burgess
  • “When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.” - Mark Twain
  • “My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.” - Amy Sedaris
  • “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” - David Lee Roth
  • “I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?” - Leo Durocher
  • The fact that a conflict has many sides does not imply that every side has merit.
  • “Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” - Meister Eckhart
  • “Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart.” - Zig Ziglar
  • “Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” - Bruce Lee
  • “Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.” - Ted Turner
  • Don’t let someone who doesn’t know your value tell you how much you’re worth.
  • “The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” - Amelia Earhart
  • “You do not become greater by making others smaller.” - Krishna Dharma
  • “I’ve sometimes thought of marrying - and then I’ve thought again.” - Noel Coward
  • “In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
  • “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” - Leo Buscaglia


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