May One-liners

Here are a few additions to the one-liners collection:

  • There is a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it’s not a train.
  • Of course men can multitask, they read on the toilet.
  • A beautiful relationship does not depend upon how good we understand someone but on how well we avoid misunderstandings.
  • If you need time alone, try cleaning the house.
  • If I never had a bad day, how would I know whether I was having a good day?
  • Looks capture the eyes. Personality captures the heart.
  • Sometimes we all have days where we are 386’s in a P4 world.
  • “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the ones you did.” — Mark Twain
  • “Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.” — Confucius
  • “If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?” — George Carlin
  • If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
  • I’m in shape. Round is a shape, isn’t it?
  • Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
  • Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be?
  • “I wonder why you can always read a doctor’s bill and never his prescription?” — Finley Peter Dunne
  • Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
  • Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact are transmission errors.
  • You are making progress if each mistake is a new one.
  • “I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.” — W. C. Fields

By Vegard Skjefstad

2 replies on “May One-liners”

Been following your blog for some time now. Love those one liners collection of yours : ) Ps: I don’t really read the part where u wrote about mostly IT stuffs, not so much of a high tech sort of person after all :D. Anyway, regards from Indonesia.

Yeah, it can get a bit technical at times, but then again; I’m a nerd :) Hope you enjoy the rest of the entries, though. I haven’t added too many one-liners to the collection lately, but hopefully, I’ll find more good ones to add.

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