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May One-liners.

It’s the first of May, which marks both Labor Day, and the addition of a couple of new one-liners to the collection.

  • Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain’t so.
  • The lack of money is the root of all evil.
  • I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
  • The Public is merely a multiplied “me.”
  • A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
  • Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name.
  • Help a man when he is in trouble, and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
  • Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
  • Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
  • Dark humor is like love — not everyone gets it.
  • How long is a Chinese name.
  • He who hesitates is not only lost, but also miles away from the next exit.
  • I once farted in an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels.
  • Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
  • The fact that there is a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic load.
  • I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
  • Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

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