Greenpeace love their whales. So much, in fact, that they are satellite tracking a pack in the Southern Ocean. Of course these whales, or at least one of them, will need a name and Greenpeace has an online poll going where you can help decide the name of the whale.
Ah, the wonders of the great interweb.
As you’d probably expect, you’ll find all kinds of fascinating names there, like Aiko (“little love” in Japanese), Bumi (“world” in Malay) and Kaimana (“divine power of the sea” in Polynesian). All good names for a large mammal that will hopefully not be shot by Japanese whalers; the odds are they are way too busy firing at the Greenpeace boat.
But will other people than the Greenpeace posse remember a name like Kigai? Or Veikko? I doubt it. Unless they name it Keiko it’s a lost cause. There is, however, one name amongst the 30 you can choose from that is, without doubt, the right name for the whale:
Mister Splashy Pants.
Yes, the name is incredibly silly on so many levels, but as a name for a whale in desperate need of media attention, it’s outright brilliant. Take myself, for instance: If this name had not been part of the poll, it would not have made its way to Reddit and I would never have heard about The Great Whale Trail Expedition. Greenpeace should embrace this name for all its worth, make as much fuss about it as possible, and order some toxic toy whales from Chinese sweat-shops – an excellent mascot for the kids.
So go ahead, make a difference for future generations – vote for Mr. Splashy Pants.