New One-liners

Over the last couple of months I’ve silently added new one-liners without letting you know. What a dick! Every now and then I also get e-mails with new suggestions for one-liners, but most of them are, how should I put this… not that good. But a couple of days ago, I got a long list of great ones from one Simon Elms. Here are the ones I added to the one-liners collection:

  • Linux is only free if your time is worthless.
  • “The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.” - James Branch Cabell
  • “Life is a sexually transmitted disease” - R. D. Laing
  • If you take something away from users, they’ll sneak it in the back way.
  • “Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction.” - Blaise Pascal
  • “Patience has its limits - take it too far and its cowardice.” - George Jackson
  • “I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” - Pablo Picasso
  • Old ideas got that way because they proved useful.
  • It always takes longer and costs more to fix it later.
  • Faster hardware doesn’t solve business problems - unless the business problem is slow hardware.
  • Systems aren’t made from metaphors, paradigms and methodologies. They’re made from code, wires and hardware.
  • “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” - Leo Tolstoy
  • “Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.” - Kin Hubbard
  • “Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live” - Damian Conway
  • “The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.” – Bill Gates
  • “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Emo Philips
  • “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” - Mark Twain
  • It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
  • “Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist invents the parachute.” - George Bernard Shaw
  • “I can resist everything except temptation.” - Oscar Wilde
  • “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” - Winston Churchill
  • “It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required.” - Winston Churchill
  • “Physics is like sex. Sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.” - Richard Feynman
  • “I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.” - Groucho Marx
  • “I intend to live forever, or die trying.” - Groucho Marx
  • “It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” - Woody Allen
  • “Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” - Albert Einstein
  • “It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.” - Albert Einstein
  • “The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.” - Albert Einstein
  • “You may delay, but Time will not.” - Benjamin Franklin
  • “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” - Isaac Asimov
  • “The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’, but ‘That’s funny …’” - Isaac Asimov
  • “Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” - Isaac Asimov
  • “There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.” - Jeremy S. Anderson
  • “Look to the future, because that is where you’ll spend the rest of your life.” - George Burns
  • Resistance isn’t futile, it’s voltage divided by amperage.
  • “Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.” - Arthur C. Clarke
  • Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.


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