Vegard Skjefstad

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New One-liners

So the F1 qualifying session from Suzuka was postponed because of heavy rain. Instead of going back to bed, I watched the sun come up at Nesodden and added a few new one-liners. There are also some in this list that were added previously, but I didn’t bother to write an entry about it because it was only one or two at the time. Since I add the odd new one-liner ever now and then, be sure to check the listing regularly.

  • It’s one thing to give advice, it’s another to take it.
  • “A generation which ignores history has no past – and no future.” – Robert A. Heinlein
  • “So the best way to be happy, is to make the other person happy.” – Dalai Lama
  • “A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” – Robert Frost
  • “Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable than risk being happy.” – Robert Anthony
  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  • “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.” – Mark Twain
  • “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” – Ambrose Redmoon
  • “It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.” – Oscar Wilde
  • “The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.” – Joan Rivers
  • “How does a project get to be a year behind schedule? One day at a time.” – Fred Brooks
  • “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown
  • “Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.” – Voltaire
  • “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw
  • “No matter how old you are, there’s always something good to look forward to.” – Lynn Johnston
  • “The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.” – Cousin Woodman
  • “Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?” – George Carlin
  • “The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.” – Robert Bloch
  • “When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.” – Jack Handey
  • “Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.” – Douglas Adams
  • “I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.” – Henny Youngman
  • “Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.” – William Claude Dukenfield
  • “If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.” – Stan Levenson
  • “The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.” – Paul Fix

There you go; a few classics that you’ve undoubtedly have heard before and a some new ones. Please let me know if you spot some duplicates in the complete listing. Thank you!

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