New funny and clever one-liners for November 2019.
It’s the first of the month, which means there’s time to add some more one-liners to the ever-growing collection. The majority of the one-liners this month is lifted form Mr. One-Liner.
- The best exercise is to reach down and pull somebody up.
- The safest place during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
- “Money can’t buy happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.” - Milton Berle
- Sterility is not hereditary.
- Rugby is a game played by gentlemen with odd shaped balls.
- “A mistake is simply another way of doing things.” - Katharine Graham
- You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you exercise.
- There’s a big difference between good sound reasons, and reasons that sound good.
- “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” - Bill Cosby
- I never turn my back on my friends, I don’t trust them that much.
- “Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.” - John Wooden
- “Tell me what you need and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.” - Scott Adams
- “A fool and his money are soon elected.” - Will Rogers
- “To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.” - Hubert H. Humphrey
- You can tell the quality of a person by how they treat people they don’t need.
- If money won’t make you happy, you won’t like poverty either.
- “Don’t compromise yourself, you’re all you’ve got.” - Janis Joplin
- When it comes to giving, some people stop at nothing.
- “Medical insurance is what allows people to be ill at ease.” - Alfred E. Neuman
- “If opera is entertainment, then falling off a roof is transportation.” - Alfred E. Neuman
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