November One-liners

New one-liners for November 2017.

Here are the new one-liners for November:

  • I’ve found that people tend to leave you alone after they’ve seen you eat mashed potatoes out of your coat pocket.
  • My kids get along great when they’re sleeping.
  • Always be yourself. Unless you can be quiet, then be that.
  • Call me a hoarder all you want, but there’s over 700 hours of free AOL on these discs.
  • Time moving too slowly for you? Schedule something you don’t want to do and it’ll speed right up.
  • The tea party my toddler invited me to feels more like a hostage situation.
  • Posting opinions on the internet is like fishing for people to tell you how wrong you are.
  • I’m tired of people assuming I’ve got a good personality because I’m ugly.
  • Why are stupid people so confident?
  • I miss the days when FarmVille updates were the most offensive thing you could post on Facebook.
  • A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.
  • Only fossils should have their minds set in stone.
  • For someone who hates the circus, I sure have dated a lot of clowns.
  • Sure it sounds bad when you phrase it exactly the way it happened.
  • The problem with teaching children to think for themselves is they might come to disagree with us.


This post has no feedback yet.

Do you have any thoughts you want to share? A question, maybe? Or is something in this post just plainly wrong? Then please send an e-mail to vegard at vegard dot net with your input. You can also use any of the other points of contact listed on the About page.


It looks like you're using Google's Chrome browser, which records everything you do on the internet. Personally identifiable and sensitive information about you is then sold to the highest bidder, making you a part of surveillance capitalism.

The Contra Chrome comic explains why this is bad, and why you should use another browser.