Funny one-liners, the ultimate collection! This is the complete listing of all the funny one-liners you see on the bottom of every page. They are listed in the opposite order of when they were added. So the most recent additions are listed first.



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Why kill time when you can make it work for you?

My wife says I can join your gang but I have to be home by 9.

Have hope for the future, but maybe build a bomb shelter anyway.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey. But thankfully, I turned myself around.

Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.

A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.

The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don’t have.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

I like Jesus, but he loves me, so it’s awkward.

Your life doesn’t get better by chance. It gets better by choice.

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