Funny one-liners, the ultimate collection! This is the complete listing of all the funny one-liners you see on the bottom of every page. They are listed in the opposite order of when they were added. So the most recent additions are listed first.
Why kill time when you can make it work for you?
My wife says I can join your gang but I have to be home by 9.
Have hope for the future, but maybe build a bomb shelter anyway.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey. But thankfully, I turned myself around.
Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don’t have.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
I like Jesus, but he loves me, so it’s awkward.
Your life doesn’t get better by chance. It gets better by choice.