Funny one-liners, the ultimate collection! This is the complete listing of all the funny one-liners you see on the bottom of every page. They are listed in the opposite order of when they were added. So the most recent additions are listed first.


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First rule of acting: whatever happens, look as if it were intended.

Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.

Fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, scratch where it itches.

Failure teaches success.

F u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.

Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes.

— Oscar Wilde

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

Excuse me, is there an airport nearby large enough for a private jet to land?

Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex.

Examine what is said, not who speaks.

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