Funny one-liners, the ultimate collection! This is the complete listing of all the funny one-liners you see on the bottom of every page. They are listed in the opposite order of when they were added. So the most recent additions are listed first.



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A smart man covers his ass, a wise man leaves his pants on.

A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.

— Joseph Stalin

A religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend.

A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.

A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.

A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.

A man on a date wonders if he’ll get lucky. The woman already knows.

A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. Buy the negatives at any price.

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