Funny one-liners, the ultimate collection! This is the complete listing of all the funny one-liners you see on the bottom of every page. They are listed in the opposite order of when they were added. So the most recent additions are listed first.



Powered by MailChimp.

«    2 of 190    »

I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.

— Jack Benny

I base my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.

— Gilda Radner

Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like `Psychic Wins Lottery’?

— Jay Leno

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead.

— Terry Pratchett

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.

— Charles Schulz

Don’t take life so serious, son, it ain’t nohow permanent.

— Walt Kelly

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

— Groucho Marx

Your mind is credulous enough to believe any narrative you feed it. Choose wisely.

— Stephen Sadowski

One is never so dangerous as when he’s utterly convinced he is right.

— John Perry Barlow

Humor is the only divine quality to be found in humanity.

— Schopenhauer
«    2 of 190    »

Click here to get brand new one-liners in your inbox every month!