Funny one-liners, the ultimate collection! This is the complete listing of all the funny one-liners you see on the bottom of every page. They are listed in the opposite order of when they were added. So the most recent additions are listed first.


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The fact that a conflict has many sides does not imply that every side has merit.

I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?

— Leo Durocher

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

— David Lee Roth

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.

— Amy Sedaris

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.

— Mark Twain

Every dogma has its day.

— Anthony Burgess

Every dogma has its day.

— Anthony Burgess

Perfection itself is imperfection.

— Vladimir Horowitz

They didn’t want it good, they wanted it Wednesday.

— Robert A. Heinlein

If you find a solution and become attached to it, the solution may become your next problem.

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