Funny one-liners, the ultimate collection! This is the complete listing of all the funny one-liners you see on the bottom of every page. They are listed in the opposite order of when they were added. So the most recent additions are listed first.


 

 

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I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.

— Jack Benny

I base my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.

— Gilda Radner

Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like `Psychic Wins Lottery’?

— Jay Leno

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead.

— Terry Pratchett

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.

— Charles Schulz

Don’t take life so serious, son, it ain’t nohow permanent.

— Walt Kelly

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

— Groucho Marx

Your mind is credulous enough to believe any narrative you feed it. Choose wisely.

— Stephen Sadowski

One is never so dangerous as when he’s utterly convinced he is right.

— John Perry Barlow

Humor is the only divine quality to be found in humanity.

— Schopenhauer
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