Funny one-liners, the ultimate collection! This is the complete listing of all the funny one-liners you see on the bottom of every page. Enjoy more than 2000 funny one-liners.


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Nostalgia is a device that removes the ruts and the potholes from Memory Lane.

— Doug Larson

The only time Success comes before Work is in the dictionary.

— Harvey Specter

A happily married man is one who understands every word which his wife didn’t say.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

If it’s not going according to plan, maybe there never was a plan.

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

— Mark Twain

You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.

— Vernon Howard

For the happiest life, days should be rigorously planned, nights left open to chance.

— Mignon McLaughlin

You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t drink.

— Ryan Reynolds

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

— Bill Vaughan
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