Funny one-liners, the ultimate collection! This is the complete listing of all the funny one-liners you see on the bottom of every page. Enjoy more than 2000 funny one-liners.


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Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.

— Mark Twain

When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.

— Saul Bellow

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.

— Lily Tomlin

Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.

— Peter Drucker

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

— Mark Twain

Celibacy is not hereditary.

How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?

If we are what we eat, then I’m easy, fast, and cheap.

If winning isn’t important then why keep score?

— Vince Lombardi

You’re not a complete idiot. There are still some parts missing!

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