One-liners

Funny one-liners, the ultimate collection! This is the complete listing of all the funny one-liners you see on the bottom of every page. Enjoy more than 2000 funny one-liners.

  

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Nostalgia is a device that removes the ruts and the potholes from Memory Lane.

— Doug Larson

The only time Success comes before Work is in the dictionary.

— Harvey Specter

A happily married man is one who understands every word which his wife didnโ€™t say.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

If itโ€™s not going according to plan, maybe there never was a plan.

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

— Mark Twain

You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.

— Vernon Howard

For the happiest life, days should be rigorously planned, nights left open to chance.

— Mignon McLaughlin

You miss 100 percent of the shots you donโ€™t drink.

— Ryan Reynolds

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

— Bill Vaughan
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