Funny one-liners, the ultimate collection! This is the complete listing of all the funny one-liners you see on the bottom of every page. They are listed in the opposite order of when they were added. So the most recent additions are listed first.


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To err is human, but to really screw things up requires a design committee of bureaucrats.

— Henry Spencer

The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them.

— George Orwell

Liberty is about our rights to question everything.

To be free is nothing, to become free is everything.

— Hegel

True friends stab you in the front.

— Oscar Wilde

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me. Iโ€™m afraid of widths.

— Steven Wright

Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.

— Dalai Lama

Donโ€™t regret the past, just learn from it.

Trouble shared is trouble halved.

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.

— Mark Twain
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