Funny one-liners, the ultimate collection! This is the complete listing of all the funny one-liners you see on the bottom of every page. They are listed in the opposite order of when they were added. So the most recent additions are listed first.


 

 

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The ladder of success is difficult to climb with your hands in your pockets.

The best thing about the good old days is I wasn’t good and I wasn’t old.

It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.

Drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy can lead to pregnancy.

Don’t you wish your life was as interesting as you let on it is on Facebook?

Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.

The hardest part of dating a blind woman is getting her husband’s voice right.

I was going to start my diet next week, but I’ve got too much on my plate.

Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated badly had it coming.

I considered being a stay-at-home mom until I realized the kids would be there.

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