Today marks the one year anniversary of me and Stine’s break-up. For some reason I feel like summing up the past year. I’m not quite sure why, but I feel it’s so important I decided to do it at work since I probably won’t have the time to write anything later tonight.
So, where should I start? If you’re a regular visitor to the site, you probably know the Vegard-and-Stine-story by heart by now. Boy meets girl, girl becomes girlfriend, then ex-girlfriend, then girlfriend again, then ex-girlfriend again, then girlfriend again, and then, for the last time, ex-girlfriend again. How and why and when is not really that important, but if you’d like to, you can read the entry I wrote a couple of days after she dumped me, You wanna rebound with me?, and follow the links from there. I guess it could be an interesting read if you’re really, really bored and the only other option you have is to wash your gold fish.
Anyway… The year that has gone by since she left me has been both ups and downs. I started dating again only two weeks after the break-up, mostly to get my thoughts of Stine. The dating was so-so, of some reason I ended up going out with two teachers before new years kicked in, and it didn’t go that well. But it kept my thoughts of Stine, which was good. The downs mostly came with things that reminded me of her. Like for instance when all the people in my shared apartment decided to have dinner together. A typical thing me and Stine used to do when she visited. The dinner was just too much for me, I had to leave the room, lay down in my bed, turn on Chronic Future, turn off the lights.
Then I cried for the first time in years.
That was the worst down. From there on, it went uphill. The turning point came when I met TC. Great girl, good looking and so unpredictable I didn’t have time to think about much else than what the hell she was up to. Unfortunately, she turned out to be way too unpredictable and unable to figure out. She suddenly disappeared for two weeks and when she surfaced again and realized that I’d been trying to find her that she got so pissed she told me to stay the fuck out of her life.
That I did, and I’ve never looked back. She was like an avalanche waiting to happen and she probably would’ve taken me with her down the hill.
Even though I don’t have any contact with Stine anymore, I sometimes wonder how she’s doing. In my head, she’s doing great. She has the best boyfriend in the world, interesting work and some really good friends. The reality is probably a bit different, all people have bad days every now and then, but I like to pretend that everything is perfect all the time to justify my decision to completely lock her out from my life. I talked about this with Liv Marie a couple of weeks ago, she suggested that I should send her a text message and apologize for being such an ass. But that will never happen. Because she’s doing great, and she doesn’t need me. I hope.
So Stine is a closed chapter in my life. Still, I sometimes turn back the pages and read a few lines. She was the most important person in my life for almost two years, so I guess it’s natural. One thing I know for sure is that her new boyfriend is not a nerd - or at least not a very good one if he is - because Google couldn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know.
Enough said. Let’s not live in the past. Let’s look forward. And right now the future looks promising.
vegard at vegard dot netwith your input. You can also use any of the other points of contact listed on the About page.
|2005-09-08 17:13 CET|