February One-liners.

January came and went without any new one-liners. But here’s a short and early February update:

  • Just because red flags are popping up all over the place doesn’t mean she’s not the girl for you.
  • Being in a relationship is the exhausting practice of ceaselessly trying to be more entertaining than a smart phone.
  • The best secrets are the ones you’re let in on.
  • Guilt is a dish best served by mom.
  • What’s the most unreliable form of communication and how do I get my relatives to start using it?
  • I return to work tomorrow with a child-like belief that this is the year people will think at least twice before hitting Reply All.
  • I enjoy video games because they let me live out my wildest fantasies, like being assigned a task and then completing that task.
  • No matter how tough you think you are, there’s always a closed pistachio ready to mess you up.
  • The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
  • I’ve pre-planned my funeral to include a 32 minute montage of the times I’ve accidentally waved hello to someone waving to someone behind me.
  • I don’t make mistakes, I take alternative decisions.
  • Don’t worry about tomorrow’s problems, handle today’s first.
  • Don’t get burned twice on the same flame.
  • I’m not asocial, I just don’t want to associate with idiots.

How To Enable HTTP/2 in Apache on Ubuntu 16.04.

Here’s a simple guide showing how you can enable HTTP/2 in Apache on Ubuntu 16.04.

The internet is awesome. It can be used by governments to very efficiently spy on their citizens, it got Donald elected, and it’ll be mentioned in future history books as the main tool used in the second rise of fascism. There are also a few funny cat pictures.

Today’s internet connections are amazingly fast. You younglings might not believe this, but there was a time when we actually had to sit and wait for a website to appear. If you want to experience the internet speeds of the past, give 56k Emulator a try. It will give you the basic idea. And keep in mind that 56K modems were freakin’ fast when they became available.

But I digress. Sorta. Even though today’s internet connections are fast, the technology used to push propaganda around inside the tubes is old and slow. HTTP/1.1 was never intended to be used with the kind of content-heavy website we have today. Thankfully, there’s a new option available, the marvelous RFC-7540. Or HTTP/2, if you will.

HTTP/2 is a major revision of HTTP/1.1. Its main goal is to make web sites appear in your browser quicker, and with the need to send less data than with HTTP/1.1. The “number one HTTP server on the internet”, Apache 2 only has experimental support for HTTP/2. This means that it’s not available in the version Ubuntu 16.04 includes by default.

Once again, we have to turn to our PPA packaging hero Ondřej Surý for support. Not only does he maintain packages for the latest and greatest version of PHP (that we used here), he also makes sure Ubuntu users can be on the bleeding edge of Apache goodness.

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No, Donald Trump Didn’t Steal From the Bee Movie.

About half a day ago, Twitter user @paulythegun had a brilliant idea. He took an excerpt from Trump’s inaugural address, and passed in on as an almost word-by-word copy from the 2007 animated film, Bee Movie.

If the image embedded with the tweet isn’t visible, click the pic.twitter.com link. As of right now, the tweet has been retweeted over sixty three five seven thousand times. I’ve seen it posted multiple times both in my Twitter feed and on Facebook. And of course this spreads like a wildfire. The 45th president is stealing his speech material from a children’s movie! It’s both hilarious and outrageous at the same time. This is exactly what we on the center-left in politics expected from the talking carrot.

But there’s a problem. The tweet is not true.

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I Love You, Revo SuperConnect!

Over the years I’ve reviewed a lot of stuff. It’s been mostly movies, books, and computer games, but also the occasional piece of hardware. My lowest ever score of exactly 0 was awarded to a pair of Scullcandy Uprock headphones. They are the worst piece of shit headphones ever made. Now the time has come to have a look at what might be the best piece of hardware ever made: The Revo SuperConnect.

I’m in charge of making dinner for the family, and thus spend some time in the kitchen. The radio is usually on, but the selection of radio stations in Norway isn’t exactly massive. The internet, however, has an almost endless collection of radio stations covering every imaginary genre. To take advantage of this massive smörgåsbord of beautiful audio waves, I started looking for an internet radio a while ago. The Logitech Squeezebox seemed like a good option, but the product was discontinued in 2012.

Then I came across the Revo SuperConnect. Designed and developed by the Scottish company Revo, the SuperConnect is a radio that combines an impressive range of features and connectivity options into a stunning looking hardware package.

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35 Down, 65 to go.

The ListTM hasn’t received much attention lately. The last time I crossed off an item on the list was back in 2013, when me and the missus went to Tokyo. But recently, it was brought to my attention that I actually completed two items last year:

11. Hold a speech at someone’s wedding.
21. Organize a big event.

I August last year, I held a short speech at my own wedding. That should qualify as “someone’s wedding”. The wedding itself was a rather big event, at least on my scale. Anniken did most of the heavy lifting during planning, but my contributions should be enough for me to cross off number 21 from the list.

Hooray!

While we’re on the subject of The List, it’s fairly obvious that a revision is long overdue. It would be the second one, the first version of the list contained a few items that wasn’t suitable for a guy in a relationship. There are still some items there that it’s fairly unlikely that I’ll ever try to achieve. Number 100, for instance, “see Matthew Good in concert”. Matthew Good was my artist numero uno back when I wrote the original list. Today, not so much.

Number 66, “stop being semi-dyslectic” is also weird item. I’ll never completely stop being semi-dyslectic. There will always be spelling errors, and grammatical mistakes. What I can hope for is to reach a skill level where I’ll at least manage to weed out the most serious errors. Actually, I think I’m there already. Let’s just cross it off the list right away.

66. Stop being semi-dyslectic.

For the other, not-so-likely-they-will-ever-happen items, I think I’ll just replace them as I come up with better things to do.