November One-liners.

Here are the new one-liners for November:

  • I’ve found that people tend to leave you alone after they’ve seen you eat mashed potatoes out of your coat pocket.
  • My kids get along great when they’re sleeping.
  • Always be yourself. Unless you can be quiet, then be that.
  • Call me a hoarder all you want, but there’s over 700 hours of free AOL on these discs.
  • Time moving too slowly for you? Schedule something you don’t want to do and it’ll speed right up.
  • The tea party my toddler invited me to feels more like a hostage situation.
  • Posting opinions on the internet is like fishing for people to tell you how wrong you are.
  • I’m tired of people assuming I’ve got a good personality because I’m ugly.
  • Why are stupid people so confident?
  • I miss the days when FarmVille updates were the most offensive thing you could post on Facebook.
  • A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.
  • Only fossils should have their minds set in stone.
  • For someone who hates the circus, I sure have dated a lot of clowns.
  • Sure it sounds bad when you phrase it exactly the way it happened.
  • The problem with teaching children to think for themselves is they might come to disagree with us.

Finding the Best Router for OpenWrt, DD-WRT, and LEDE.

Let’s find the best router for OpenWrt, DD-WRT, and LEDE.

OpenWrt, DD-WRT and LEDE are all Linux-based, custom firmware for your router. They give you a whole lot more features than your average stock router firmware, and they are more often than not better maintained than the firmware provided by the router vendor. From what I can see, OpenWrt, DD-WRT, and LEDE have enough in common that if one of them works well on a router, it’s a fair chance it’ll also work on the other two. OpenWrt and LEDE, in particular, have a lot in common. LEDE is an OpenWrt fork that was started because of internal disagreements among the OpenWrt members. Now they’re all friends again, and LEDE and OpenWrt will merge again soonTM, using the more actively maintained LEDE code base, and keeping the well-known OpenWrt brand.

But what router works best with third party firmware? It’s not easy to figure out. All three projects support, to various degree, a large number of routers, from a wide range of vendors. But some routers are better supported than others, in particular when it comes to WiFi support. The reason for this is that router vendors use different WLAN chipsets in their routers. How easy it is to obtain drivers for the different hardware varies, with Broadcom in particular being a hard nut to crack.

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100 Things Revisited.

Let’s rewind to 2004. I’m sitting in a loft in Grünerløkka, Oslo’s hottest neighborhood for the city’s young, urban, up-and-commers. Together with two former colleagues I’ve just founded a startup, and like with many startups, work is all-consuming, leaving little time for other adventures. The only way for me to do other things is to set some goals. That’s when The List is born.

The List contains 100 things I want to do before I croak. Also known as a bucket list1, its items range from the most trivial things (#93: Write on a wall), to some more complicated endeavors (#60: Save a life). The List has gone through a few minor modifications since it’s inception. Some of the items on the original list were pretty far fetched, like the original #14: Rob a bank. Seriously? The original #56 wasn’t any better: Witness the production of porn in person. In my feeble defense, I was in my mid-twenties, heavily overworked, and desperately sex deprived.

The items on the list should be at least semi-realistic. It’s great to have ambitious goals, but as life changes, the odds that I will actually be able to check off some of the currently non-checked items on the list is pretty damn slim. That’s why, as I’m pushing 40, it’s time to have a good, long, hard look at The List again.

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Euro Truck Simulator 2.

Do you hear that? The open roads of Euro Truck Simulator 2 are calling.

When I was a kid, I saw the Kris Kristofferson movie “Convoy” with my dad. Kristofferson stars as the truck driver Martin “Rubber Duck” Penwald, and the movie tells the dramatic story of Rubber Duck and other trucker’s vendetta against an abusive sheriff, the comradery among the truckers, and, of course, big trucks. Huge, 18-wheeler rigs speeding through Arizona dessert. I was blown away by “Convoy”, and there was no doubt in my mind. I was going to be a truck driver when I grew up.

But life wanted things differently. I’m born with an eye condition that make it illegal for me to operate heavy machinery like airplanes, helicopter – and big rigs. I can still remember when the eye doctor told me this. For him, it was just another footnote in his otherwise normal day. For me, it was like getting all my hopes and dreams for the future ruined in the blink of an eye.

But now, 30 odd years later, with the help of Euro Truck Simulator 2 by Czech developer SCS Software, I can finally live my dream of driving those massive trucks across the continent. And there’s no risk of me running over pedestrians because my eyes are all over the place.

Euro Truck Simulator 2: Embarking from Stavanger, Norway, with some very heavy cargo.

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October One-liners.

Here are the new one-liners for October:

  • In 20 years, I bet there’s going to be a college course called “Eye contact 101”.
  • I just hired a private investigator to find out what I do all day.
  • Skiing is probably the most expensive way to fall down a mountain.
  • My bed is a magical place where i suddenly remember everything i need to do.
  • Saying the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results, is called parenting.
  • Just because I’m smiling doesn’t necessarily mean that I like you. I might be picturing you on fire.
  • I’d be willing to sleep my way to the top if it actually meant sleeping.
  • None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
  • Sorry I’m late. I was trying to think of ways to get out of this.
  • The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
  • Let me make this simple: I want to be invited but I don’t want to go.
  • Damn girl, are you a magnet? Cos I was attracted to you until you turned around!
  • Relax. It’s going to get much worse.
  • Judge people on how they treat others when they’re hungry.
  • “This bag of potato chips is pure chaos! Something must be done about this!” – Inventor of Pringles
  • If you love someone, set them free. Then, text them 50 times a day, telling them how much you love them and how they’re now free.
  • I’m not a stalker, I’m an unpaid private investigator.