Plug Pulling.

Today I pulled the plug on Stine. She sent me an SMS last night telling me that she was moving to the Western part of Norway where she had got a new job. I know her pretty well, and she wouldn’t leave Trondheim just for a job. My money is on that she’s got a boyfriend and that she’s moving in with him. I guess it’s probably the guy she met on her vacation the week before she dumped me. I never told you about that, did I? Well, it really doesn’t matter now. Even though it’s been a long, long time since I was in love with her, this is still a kick in the groin. I didn’t sleep well last night, and today has been bad.

So after work today I told her please not to contact me ever again.

It’s a childish and selfish thing to do, I guess, but I feel that I need some sort of real closure here. For all I know, this could be holding me back when it comes to entering new relationships. I wish her the best, and I hope that she’s found someone that really loves her for all she’s worth, but I don’t want to know about it. It’s sad, but it’s not the loss of a lifetime. At the end of the day we were very different with very little in common. I know I’m been talking about being over her in other entries I’ve written since September last year, and I really feel that I am over her, but I guess I’m not over the feeling of having someone there who loves me. And when I get to know that Stine has found someone else, that “easy exit” is closed and I’m all alone in the whole, wide world.

Yeah, I know I’m not really all alone in the whole, wide world, but you understand what I’m talking about. This got rather emotional; and as always when it does, I have no idea why I’m sharing it with you.

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  1. I´ve been watching your posts for ages now, and never said anything. I suppose i´m one of those “anonymous readers” out there (i´m sure there are quite a few).

    Well anyway, I know exactly how you feel. And I mean exactly. I think the only solution is for me (and you) to fall in love veeerrryyy deeply again with someone. But I have been in this situation for QUITE some time, and i´m beginning to think the unfinished feeling (and all that comes with it) will never ever go away. Oh well, good luck to you.


  2. Thanks, wood. Good luck to you, too.

    I’m pretty sure a lot of people know how I feel, I’m not the first one to be there, I guess.

    As for anonymous readers, I think there’re quite a few of those, the site gets about 1300 unique hits each day. A lot of those are search engines hits, but some are regular visitors. That’s one of the reasons why I maintain this blog – writing for an unknown audience is interesting in a strange way, it’s a little like writing a book. I also know that a lot of people who know me or at least know of me visits from time to time. Cool.

  3. Hey, I know that song! I heard it a few years ago when my girlfriend fell in love with another guy she worked with (we had been togetter siz years and was engaged).

    Yeah, lonely, that’s the feeling.. atleast a few months afterwards. You start missing the good things like holding your girl, giving a hug etc. But then I discovered, hey there really ARE more girls in this world, and they can actually be much more fun then the old one. I could actually find new love even though I thought the train had passed. The secret is not to expect anything.. atleast that worked for me. Today I have a kid, house, car, cat instead of a dog and am so very happy the old relationship ended.

    So, basically – clean your closet, throw the bad feelings in the trashcan (remember to empty it! not kidding!) and have a fun time with your friends and have no worries (and it IS easier than it might appears, it’s about will)! Things will come when least expected…

  4. Lots of good points there, Ken. I still get the odd flashback and that bad feeling in my stomach. But it’s just a question of time before she’s a long gone memory.

    I don’t think it will take that much more time now, and I’m looking forward to that.