Today I pulled the plug on Stine. She sent me an SMS last night telling me that she was moving to the Western part of Norway where she had got a new job. I know her pretty well, and she wouldn’t leave Trondheim just for a job. My money is on that she’s got a boyfriend and that she’s moving in with him. I guess it’s probably the guy she met on her vacation the week before she dumped me. I never told you about that, did I? Well, it really doesn’t matter now. Even though it’s been a long, long time since I was in love with her, this is still a kick in the groin. I didn’t sleep well last night, and today has been bad.
So after work today I told her please not to contact me ever again.
It’s a childish and selfish thing to do, I guess, but I feel that I need some sort of real closure here. For all I know, this could be holding me back when it comes to entering new relationships. I wish her the best, and I hope that she’s found someone that really loves her for all she’s worth, but I don’t want to know about it. It’s sad, but it’s not the loss of a lifetime. At the end of the day we were very different with very little in common. I know I’m been talking about being over her in other entries I’ve written since September last year, and I really feel that I am over her, but I guess I’m not over the feeling of having someone there who loves me. And when I get to know that Stine has found someone else, that “easy exit” is closed and I’m all alone in the whole, wide world.
Yeah, I know I’m not really all alone in the whole, wide world, but you understand what I’m talking about. This got rather emotional; and as always when it does, I have no idea why I’m sharing it with you.
|2005-02-24 18:58 CET|