Six Weeks (and Then Some) in

There’s no doubt. Our lives have been turned upside down: Vilde is the new Queen of the Castle. Being a father is pretty much exactly what I expected it to be at this point: Everything from nerve wrecking to fantastic. Nerve wrecking when she projectile vomited an entire meal for the first time, fantastic when she smiled and made a happy sound for the first time. There are a lot of “first times”. Still, there’s nothing that can really prepare you for something like this, and it’s massive learn-as-you-go experience.

Here’s a small selection of what Vilde has taught us in the first six-ish weeks. All of these are probably no-brainers for people who are already parents and not very interesting reading for the rest of you, but I had a goal to pump out this entry in June, and I’m sticking to my plan.

  • Taking a dump on the changing table is the best thing ever. Second best is to do it 5 seconds after a fresh diaper is on.
  • Crying means one of many things: Hungry, tired, too cold, too hot, bored, tummy ache – or none of these. Debugging will have to continue until the problem is found and solved, however, because the sound will only increase until that happens1.
  • So far, Vilde has operated on a 5-scale crying level:
  1. I need your attention about something.
  2. I’m getting hungry, you should start to prepare a meal.
  3. I was warning you on level 2, now it’s too late, you had your chance. I need food now!
  4. Oh my god, this guy is crushing my intestines! (At the doctor’s office for her 6 week checkup.)
  5. Now I’m just screaming as loud as I can because why the fuck not?
  • Insane arm twitching means that something is coming out, in either end. Or both ends, and if that happens, we’re most likely on the changing table.
  • Bottle feeding worked like a charm. Both breast milk and formula. This gives Anniken the opportunity so socialize a little without having Vilde hanging from a boob.
  • On of these occasions, I was in charge of feeding Vilde. Since I had no idea she could have a need to just suck on something, that she doesn’t necessarily suck the bottle because she’s hungry, I fed her way too much that evening. This resulted in the mother of all vomits later in the night, but no crying, strangely enough.
  • After the unfortunate over-feeding incident, we introduced The Pacifier. Parents will tell you it’s the best invention ever and they are right. What might be a bit challenging is to find the right pacifier, but once you find it, you’ll worship it.
  • Vilde’s Words of the Day are: “Oi” and “eo”. We’re hoping this is her versions of “hey” and “hello”, which we say to her. A lot. But at only six weeks, we might be stretching her talent for words.
  • She’s about as photogenic as her dad. Poor kid.

And this is how life is these days. I’m loving it!

Footnotes

  1. This is the classic engineer’s approach to parenting.

By Vegard Vines Skjefstad

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