A Gallbladder Update

It’s been a while now since my surgery, so I guess it’s time for an update. Be warned, though; this is going to be both detailed and messy.

The keyhole surgery (laparoscopic cholecystectomy) went just fine. I laid down, was told to take a deep breath, and then I woke up again without my gallbladder, but with four surprisingly tiny bandages on my stomach. The gallstones they’d pulled out of the gallbladder was sitting neatly in a container on a table besides the bed. They ranged from pea to marble in shape and size, so there was no doubt about the cause of my stomach pains. The round shape of the gallstones has probably saved me from some pain. The same amount of gallstones in a more gravel like substance – which is common – would potentially have caused a lot more agony. Then again, less pain had allowed a chronic inflammation of the gallbladder to get a foothold.

Anyway.

This was not something that would go away by popping pills. Even though having had an internal organ removed feels pretty damn weird, I’m glad it’s out.

So the surgery went fine, but the recover phase has been a bit more interesting.

Gallbladder B Gone!

So, over the last six month, I’ve had increasing problems with my inner plumbing. Sometime, after meals, I’ve felt a weird pressure in my upper belly. Four or five times, particularly after eating a lot of food in the evening, I’ve woken up in the middle of the night with a pretty severe bellyache. A couple of times it’s been so bad that going back to sleep hasn’t been an option, and I’ve spent a couple of hours of the night on the bathroom floor, waiting for the pain to go away.

When it became obvious that this wasn’t something that would go away by itself, I decided to go see my doctor. Based on what I told him, he did an ultrasound examination to check the liver and the gallbladder. The liver looked just fine, but the gallbladder didn’t appear on his office equipment.

So I was told to go to a clinic with better ultrasound equipment a week or so later, and the guy who examined me there found the missing gallbladder. He also found a ton of gallstones in the bladder1.

In a World of My Own Design

Welcome to a piece of my mind I’m pretty sure you’d wish you didn’t know existed.

Imagine if the life that you thought you shared wasn’t really there. It was made up in your mind, could be anyone, anywhere. You’d be living in a world of your own design, undermined. In another place, other space and time.

So goes the first lines of Clean Bandit‘s Dust Clears, a track from their 2014 album New Eyes. The song continues:

Imagine if the friend that you thought you knew wasn’t really true. It just existed in your head, the reflection used wasn’t you.

Even though I listen to a lot of music, I don’t really listen very often. I prefer to work listening to music, and while it might not actually be the case, I imagine that it helps me concentrate. So the majority of the music I listen to is basically advanced background noise.

But sometimes I listen, and when I listened to Dust Clears, a really weird thought began to grind in the back of my mind.

The Other Vegards on The Internet

I used to be the most popular Vegard on the internet. But times sure have changed.

Back in the days, the internet was a beautiful, innocent place. People were (mostly) friendly to each other. No one was manipulating elections. People didn’t deliberately spread lies and misinformation – they were just stupid. And president weren’t threatening nuclear war on Twitter.

It surely was a fine time to be alive. But best of all? I was the most popular Vegard on the internet. If you typed my name into any of the many search engines that was around at the time before the Googleopoly, I’d pop up as the number one search result. Lycos, Yahoo! Search, AltaVista, and WebCrawler, they all said the same: “You, Vegard, you are the most popular Vegard on the Internet!”

It felt good, I’ll tell you that. Even the King of Winter at the time, the Norwegian skier Vegard Ulvang, had nothing on me. But that has changed. Other Vegards have made a name for themselves on the internet. Social media profiles like Vegard Harm, and entertainers like Vegard Ylvisåker, have pushed me from my number one spot. These days I’m lucky if I appear on the first page.

Another reason for my fall from fame is that the internet has become saturated with other Vegards who have launched their own personal websites. And that made me curious! Who are these other non-famous Vegards who have found their way to the wast internet? Do they live as exciting and memorable lives as I do1?

It’s time for some good, old-fashioned internet, everyone!

2019 Norwegian Municipal and County Council Elections

It’s only two weeks left now until you can drop your ballot at the 2019 Norwegian Municipal and County Council Elections on September 9. Have you decided yet?

Once again you have the chance to make a difference by voting in an election. Two years ago, it was the Norwegian Parliamentary Election, this year it’s the municipal and county council elections.

I’m not a very politically active person, but I make a point of voting in every election. If you don’t I’m sorry to say that you’re a moron. It’s your duty as a registered citizen in a democratic country to make an effort to show up at a polling station. In some countries, people die for the right to vote, and to decide who’ll make all the high level decisions that affect their everyday lives. And you’re just going to sit on your ass, complaining that the government does a terrible job? Then fuck you.

If you can’t find a political party that aligns with your believes and opinions, you can at least go to a polling station and cast a protest vote.