2017 Norwegian Parliamentary Election.

We’re getting closer to the 2017 Norwegian parliamentary election. If you haven’t already voted in advance, make sure you get your ass to a polling place on Monday. You can find everything you need to know about the election on the official Valg 2017 (Norwegian version) site.

The most important thing you need to know is where your polling place is located, and that you don’t need the polling card you got in your mailbox a while back. All you need to bring is a valid picture ID. So if you’ve somehow managed to misplace the polling card, you can still vote! Why the voting officials are still spending millions on sending people something they don’t actually need must be the very definition of a dysfunctional bureaucracy.

Even if you can’t find a party that speaks to you1, there’s not reason to stay at home on election day. Go to a polling place and leave a blank vote. In Norwegian elections, blank votes are invalid and discarded, but they are counted towards the total number of votes. This means that your protest vote makes a difference, because the election statistics will show how many people gave a blank vote.

If you still decide not to vote, at least have the decency to shut the fuck up about everything political that happens in the future – if you abstain from voting, you also yield your right to complain. If you can’t quite get your head around that, please consult this helpful chart by Cyanide & Happiness.

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No, Donald Trump Didn’t Steal From the Bee Movie.

About half a day ago, Twitter user @paulythegun had a brilliant idea. He took an excerpt from Trump’s inaugural address, and passed in on as an almost word-by-word copy from the 2007 animated film, Bee Movie.

If the image embedded with the tweet isn’t visible, click the pic.twitter.com link. As of right now, the tweet has been retweeted over sixty three five seven thousand times. I’ve seen it posted multiple times both in my Twitter feed and on Facebook. And of course this spreads like a wildfire. The 45th president is stealing his speech material from a children’s movie! It’s both hilarious and outrageous at the same time. This is exactly what we on the center-left in politics expected from the talking carrot.

But there’s a problem. The tweet is not true.

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11 Things Donald Trump Will Say in 12 Hours (or Less).

Here are 11 things Donald Trump will say when the 2016 US presidential election results are in (not necessarily in this specific order):

  1. “This election was stolen from me… uh… us.”
  2. “I will get to the bottom of this.”
  3. “We have to act. It’s your duty to act. Now!”
  4. “It’s a rigged system.”
  5. “Crooked Hillary, rabble-rabble-rabble, Crooked Hillary!”
  6. “Nobody respects women like I do.”
  7. “What a nasty woman!”
  8. “I will not concede!”
  9. “This result is rigged.”
  10. “I demand a recount!”
  11. “Oh, by the way, I’ve launched a news network, please watch it.”

You read it here first.

Updated: Well, that didn’t go exactly as predicted. Or, to quote a comedian who would have ripped this election apart: “Boy, is my thumb not on the pulse of America.”

Trump vs Clinton: Round 3.

Was the third time the charm for the two aspiring candidates, or did they continue on the steep, awkward downhill slope that was the second presidential debate? Let’s have a look at what happened in the final round of Trump vs Clinton. Ding-ding-ding!2

Hillary Clinton came into the third debate on top. Pretty much every poll showed her in front of Donald Trump. Pussygate turned out to cause a lot more trouble for the Donald than I predicted, and his continuous failure to just flat out apologize didn’t help much either. The Republican nominee entered the stage as a wounded lion. Everything was set for an extension of the crap throwing contest that started during the second debate. At least I excepted Trump to attempt a citizens arrest on stage.

But that never happened. The third debate somehow turned out to be the most civil of the three. The candidates discussed actual topics, like abortion, Aleppo, and immigration. On abortion, Hillary Clinton promised to “defend Planned Parenthood”, a statement that meant she lost Utah on the spot. But that state has been a lost cause for her since the beginning of the campaign. There’s a good chance her stance on planned parenthood made her more votes from female voters than she lost from the evangelicals.

Anyway.

The most interesting takeaway from the third debate wasn’t really where the candidates stand on your everyday political issues. It was whether or not Donald Trump will set America on fire if he loses the election come November.

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Trump vs Clinton: Round Two.

On Sunday evening it was time to sit down and brace for the second round of the presidential title match of Trump vs Clinton. In the right corner; a rambling, sexist businessman. In the left corner; a former Secretary of State who nobody trusts.

The town hall format of Sunday’s debate is a bit different than the one used in the previous debate. Instead of a moderator asking questions, the questions are asked by selected members of the audience. The poor, poor audience. Most likely people kidnapped on the street, and given the choice of a slow, agonizing death, or asking a question. It’s a format that should suit Clinton better than Trump. She’s got experience with this kind of debate, while he favors big crowds, monologue, and occasional yelling.

None of the candidates did any attempt to shake the others hand as they entered the stage, and everything went down hill from there. After the first question was asked by an audience member, it took a good 20 minutes before the moderators managed to squeeze in the second question. Both Clinton and Trump approached the questions they were asked as proper politicians. They talked a lot, but rarely spent much time actually answering. Instead, they used most of their allotted 2 minutes to talk about something completely out of context. Or attack each others campaigns, personalities, and immediate family.

Just as classy as we’ve come to expect from the American presidential candidates.

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