The Amateur’s Guide to Joyful Writing.

I’m not a professional writer. But I’ve got some experience with it. After all, I wrote an A+ essay back in junior high, which pretty much makes me an expert on the subject in internet terms. So here is my guide to joyful writing.

This guide is not primarily about joyful writing in the sense that your readers will enjoy themselves. It’s more about how you, as the writer, can enjoy what you’re doing. I’ve kept this site alive for 18-ish years now, and I’ve learned a few tricks along the way. The guide probably won’t make you a better writer, though, because in that field I’ve got little to teach.

But it doesn’t matter much that you suck at writing as long as you love doing it.

Everything I write these days is published on this site, which is powered by WordPress. So when it comes to the tools of the trade, WordPress will be the main focus. You should, however, be able to apply everything else in the guide to your writing, regardless of the tools you’re normally using.

So without further ado, here’s the guide everyone’s talking about:

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I’m a Coward.

What do you do when you have a lot to say, but don’t dare to say it?

Right now I have 32 unfinished blog posts laying around – including this one. 32 incomplete gems in the making, screaming for my attention. Some of them are properly aged, with the most ancient draft being a long post I wrote late 2011 about how I reverse engineered the Tidal Android app. Back then, it was called WiMP, and annoyingly it lacked proper head phone audio control support. But that wasn’t something a little hacking couldn’t fix, right? On my way through the code, I discovered clear text API passwords, and other funky stuff that probably shouldn’t be made public. So the post was never left the drawing board. There are also a bunch of incomplete reviews in the sea of unfinished posts, seasoned with drafts that aren’t much more than quick notes I’ve made whenever an idea has tried to form in my head.

In the collection of neglected treasure, there are also about 10 opinion pieces. They are written on a variety of topics, from my thoughts on a proposed ban on porn sites, to science fiction-esque gene manipulation with CRISPR. Among the many drafts, these opinion posts are the ones I’d like to spend some time and energy to finish.

But it doesn’t just take effort to voice ones opinions, defending them can be outright exhausting. Particularly if you’re like me – an conflict adverse, unskilled debater.

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No, Donald Trump Didn’t Steal From the Bee Movie.

About half a day ago, Twitter user @paulythegun had a brilliant idea. He took an excerpt from Trump’s inaugural address, and passed in on as an almost word-by-word copy from the 2007 animated film, Bee Movie.

If the image embedded with the tweet isn’t visible, click the pic.twitter.com link. As of right now, the tweet has been retweeted over sixty three five seven thousand times. I’ve seen it posted multiple times both in my Twitter feed and on Facebook. And of course this spreads like a wildfire. The 45th president is stealing his speech material from a children’s movie! It’s both hilarious and outrageous at the same time. This is exactly what we on the center-left in politics expected from the talking carrot.

But there’s a problem. The tweet is not true.

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11 Things Donald Trump Will Say in 12 Hours (or Less).

Here are 11 things Donald Trump will say when the 2016 US presidential election results are in (not necessarily in this specific order):

  1. “This election was stolen from me… uh… us.”
  2. “I will get to the bottom of this.”
  3. “We have to act. It’s your duty to act. Now!”
  4. “It’s a rigged system.”
  5. “Crooked Hillary, rabble-rabble-rabble, Crooked Hillary!”
  6. “Nobody respects women like I do.”
  7. “What a nasty woman!”
  8. “I will not concede!”
  9. “This result is rigged.”
  10. “I demand a recount!”
  11. “Oh, by the way, I’ve launched a news network, please watch it.”

You read it here first.

Updated: Well, that didn’t go exactly as predicted. Or, to quote a comedian who would have ripped this election apart: “Boy, is my thumb not on the pulse of America.”

Trump vs Clinton: Round 3.

Was the third time the charm for the two aspiring candidates, or did they continue on the steep, awkward downhill slope that was the second presidential debate? Let’s have a look at what happened in the final round of Trump vs Clinton. Ding-ding-ding!1

Hillary Clinton came into the third debate on top. Pretty much every poll showed her in front of Donald Trump. Pussygate turned out to cause a lot more trouble for the Donald than I predicted, and his continuous failure to just flat out apologize didn’t help much either. The Republican nominee entered the stage as a wounded lion. Everything was set for an extension of the crap throwing contest that started during the second debate. At least I excepted Trump to attempt a citizens arrest on stage.

But that never happened. The third debate somehow turned out to be the most civil of the three. The candidates discussed actual topics, like abortion, Aleppo, and immigration. On abortion, Hillary Clinton promised to “defend Planned Parenthood”, a statement that meant she lost Utah on the spot. But that state has been a lost cause for her since the beginning of the campaign. There’s a good chance her stance on planned parenthood made her more votes from female voters than she lost from the evangelicals.

Anyway.

The most interesting takeaway from the third debate wasn’t really where the candidates stand on your everyday political issues. It was whether or not Donald Trump will set America on fire if he loses the election come November.

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