The Norlan Whisky Glass.

I can’t quite figure out if the Norlan guys are for real, or if it’s just a very elaborate hoax. Either way; now I want a glass of whisky.

I’m tempted to pledge a few bucks to their Kickstarter campaign, because the glasses look really cool. But the imminent failure of one of my more expensive crowdfunding endeavors have made me a little bit more cautious with who and what I throw my hard earned money at.

Is it all just a load of hipster and highbrow bullshit, or do the features of the Norlan glass actually have any basis in reality? Have a look at the campaign and judge for yourself.

Bonus July One-liners: Whisky.

This summer, we went to Denmark for a week. On the way home, I bought two bottles of whisky, a Johnnie Walker Gold Label Reserve and a 16 year old Balvenie triple cask. With my purchase, I got a small book titled “Book of Whisky” that contained a lot of interesting information about whisky that made me realize I really don’t know squat. In the book, there was also a few whisky quotes, which inspired me to dig up a few from the depths of the internet and add them to the one-liners collection:

  • “Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won’t cure a cold.” — Jerry Vale
  • There’s no such thing as a large whiskey.
  • “There are two rules for drinking whisky: first, never take whisky without water, and second, never take water without whisky.” — Charles Murray
  • “Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whisky is barely enough.” — Mark Twain
  • “One must always be ahead of life by at least one whisky.” — Humphrey Bogart
  • “There are no bad whiskies, some are just better than other others.” — William Faulkner
  • “Never drink whisky without water, never drink water without whisky.”
  • “I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.” – Humphrey Bogart
  • “As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.” — W. C. Fields
  • “I used to like whiskey. But it’s been a long time since I’ve been drunk.” — Claude Williams
  • “I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.” — Robert E. Lee
  • “Ninety percent I’ll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I’ll probably waste.” — Tug McGraw
  • “The tools I need for my work are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whiskey.” — William Faulkner
  • “Whiskey, like a beautiful woman, demands appreciation. You gaze first, then it’s time to drink.” — Haruki Murakami
  • “While I can’t walk on water, I can certainly wobble on whisky.” — Ashwin Sanghi
  • “There is indeed one person who can help solve “writer’s block”. His name is Mr Johnnie Walker.” — Ashwin Sanghi
  • “Whisky is liquid sunshine.” — George Bernard Shaw
  • “I’d much rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea.” — Carrie Bradshaw
  • “Those who drink whiskey with the owls at night, cannot soar with the eagles the next day.” — Brian D. Ratty

Brownies. The Aftermath.

Everything went according to plan on Friday: We had that greasy burger at Beach Club before we headed for the Oslo Whisky Festival where we sampled both familiar and exotic brands. Like every year the attendance is roughly 99% male, with the odd female scattered around. Most of the people working on the conference floor, on the other hand, were female, and some of them quite good looking, too. I can imagine that the job can potentially get a little bit frustrating as the blood alcohol level of the crowd increases and the middle aged men start to flirt the only way they know: Ass-grabbing.

I really enjoyed the festival this year, and focused on quantity rather than quality when nosing. Ola has always laughed at me for trying weird whiskies, but this year I think it really paid off. Amongst the many different brands available I found Buffalo Trace, a mild, but complex, American whisky. It’s quite possible that I enjoyed this one the most because it was the first one I tried, and drinking whisky for an entire evening can be quite the ordeal for an tastebuds.

We also tried the whisky bar, where they use whisky in drinks. This is considered sacrilegious by the most hard core whisky drinkers, so the bar is hidden in a corner of the conference floor. Going there is frowned upon, but we took our chances and came back happy. I don’t remember the names of any of the drinks, but but if you’re ever offered a drink that contains whisky, fear not – it’s a good chance you’ll like it, even if you’re not a whisky drinker.

Some of the distillers and importers can be quite pretentious when describing their goods, and here’s the most over-the-top description I found this year (translation by me):

Eagle Rare Single Barrel 10YO has a dark bronze color. Early in the scent picture one can find grain, toasted wheat bread, honey and tobacco leaves. The scent then goes on to become ripe banana, charcoal, almonds, butter, melon. Eagle Rare has an incredibly complex taste picture and you quickly feel that there is a lot to be found. You will discover the taste of raisins, grape fruit, charred oak and candid almonds. The closing is long, sweet, moderately flaming and pleasantly oily.

Moderately flaming and pleasantly oily. All righty, then.