The Final Bet

On Sunday evening, Portugal beat France to take home the UEFA Euro 2016 Championship title. I didn’t watch the match, but from the headlines I’ve read, it was a match that led to more yawns than celebrations of football as splendid entertainment. After the match, French football “fans” did their best to burn down Paris, and Philippe Wojazer shot the awesome picture I’ve shamelessly used without permission above.

But this entry is not about riots, football or the poo-lice throwing tear gas canisters, it’s about my bi-yearly betting spree. How did I fare this year? Well, according to my profile I didn’t have much luck. After I revealed my bullet proof way to get rich quickTM three weeks ago, I lost 11 bets and only won 4. Now that the championship is over, I’m looking at a loss of NOK 189 (~$22).

But that number isn’t entirely correct. Thanks to Unibet’s bonus trickery, and their many attempts to lure their players into spending more money than they have, I’m actually NOK 15 ($2) in the black! That won’t buy me anything anywhere, but I’m still in the black. But what to do with the money? I can’t just let the NOK 515 (~$60) stay untouched in my Unibet account, and transferring them back into my bank account would probably cost me the entire profit in transfer fees.

Since the European championship is over, I’m not placing any more bets this year. But there are other options on Unibet for people who want to part ways with their hard earned cash, and one of the most effective ones is probably the roulette table. One of the items on my infamous list of 100 things to do before I croak is item number 49: Try my luck at the roulette table. I went to Las Vegas in 2012, but since I’m a risk averse pussy, I never sat down at one of the many, many tables in the city.

But now is the time to strike item number 49 off the list! Should I put everything on red? Or black? Oh, man, the pressure!

Since I’m no good at handling pressure, I asked Anniken, she said “red”. I went all in, and promptly won another NOK 550. Hurray! I’m outta here, Unibet!

And that concludes my betting (and gambling) adventure for this year. My next opportunity is the 2018 FIFA World Cup, but I very much doubt that I’ll bother. This year’s betting bonanza didn’t entertain me much, and I spent way too much time being annoyed because I didn’t place any high stake bets on the underdogs like Iceland and Wales.

“Would have, should have, could have” is a real bitch.


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